Put Your Editor in the Corner (Amber Intro) (01/23/2020)

A recap of the week's writing at Atticus Review. Introduction by Amber Shockley.

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It seems fitting that, days before the most tense inauguration of our time, if not our nation’s entire history, a fight broke out on Twitter over the literary validity of fan fiction. And it was just in time for my own most recent existential writer crisis, too. With the help of a coach, I’ve been focusing on setting and meeting writing goals. Outside of the structure of an MFA program, I haven’t been able to do this. My weak executive functioning—one of the many divergences of my neurodivergence—hasn’t allowed it. But last week, because promising my coach gave my brain the little push of extrinsic motivation it needs, I was able to write and publish three posts on my personal blog. It felt great.Until doubt set in.I worry what my professors at my MFA program will think of my inelegant blog posts. I worry that I’m giving in to the siren call of what is popular, what gets more shares and likes on social media, rather than truly expressing my own thoughts and feelings. I worry that, after these past four years, especially this last year, I am rendered void of thoughts and feelings. I’m worried that I’m writing light, humorous blog posts because I can’t access and heal my trauma, or maybe I just don’t want to think too hard, do the slow, hard work of solid writing. I’m worried about being too serious. I’m worried about being too flippant. Mostly, I’m worried about being a bad, self-indulgent writer. Cue the Twitter feud. It seems to have been kicked off by the following tweet from writer R.S. Benedict: “it's incredibly bleak how many contemporary aspiring writers cut their teeth on fan fiction, a form that actively teaches you to write worse.” The initial tweet was followed by a thread of tweets wherein Benedict responded to real or imagined pushback.  Much of the counterargument on Twitter has been from writers claiming various levels of current success, and outing themselves as having started by reading and/or writing fan fiction. A consensus from Benedict’s dissenters seems to be that, for aspiring writers, writing, any writing, is better than no writing.  That’s exactly what my therapist(s) have had to say.  But I spent all of my schooling learning to push toward better with my eye on the best. One does develop the little editor in her head. I’ve come to cherish that editor, take pride in her. But does the little editor become too churlish? Must she be placed in the corner? And if so, at what point is she allowed to be ushered back into the room, her cheeks moist, her voice quiet? Most important, at what point, how often, and at what level, is she allowed, for the sake of the work, to act out again?  Of course, each writer has to work this out on their own. We all must deal with the polarity within us, the genres within us, the doubt and the ego. I do think that, “any writing is better than no writing” is true in the sense that it represents a won battle against fear and defeat. May we all battle against that, regardless of our position on any given categorization of written work.Thanks for reading. We're glad you're here. Amber ShockleyAssistant Poetry Editor

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THIS WEEK AT ATTICUS

CREATIVE NONFICTIONWHAT IF GOD WERE ONE OF US?by Tatiana Ryckman Part of our Superunknown: Stories About Songs series"But what I realize now is that despite all its God references, I didn’t hate it for the same reason it was singled out as especially unacceptable. It acknowledged doubt."READ ON

FICTIONOUTRAGEOUSby Louise Marburg"When she hung up the phone, she reread the note. Lester was right: it really was outrageous. Opening her desk drawer, she took out a pen and inserted the missing comma."READ ON

POETRYLUNAR DREAM IN MONOCHROMEby Hannah Yoest"The flag outside my house is faded, sun-touched, the field of starsmore grey than blue, the stripes approaching Millennial pink. At nightI have a recurring dream. The flag on the moon. How if we were to return..."READ ON

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