Be A Destroyer of What-Ifs (Dorothy Intro) (06/08/2019)

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I recently read this quote from Eudora Welty in an old Paris Review interview: "At the time of writing, I don’t write for my friends or myself, either; I write for it, for the pleasure of it. I believe if I stopped to wonder what So-and-so would think, or what I’d feel like if this were read by a stranger, I would be paralyzed."It was one of those quotes that seemed to come at just the right time. I'm usually of Welty's mind when I'm writing. I know that imagining what others would think of what I write would kill it before I got to page two. But I was struggling with an essay that delved into issues I rarely openly discuss, and a shadowy "other"—a ghostly reader composed of endless questions, spurred by a wild imagination—began to creep into my process. I was being stopped by a fantastic figure that personified "What if?"My students often tell me they feel that "something" gets in the way of what they truly want to communicate on the page, but they can't quite articulate what that "something" is. When I dig deeper, I hear a long list of what ifs: What if my mother reads this? What if my partner takes this the wrong way? What if I get pushback online?Concern about social media harassment is warranted, especially for writers from marginalized communities. Attacks, particularly on some social networks, can be brutal. They are common enough that multiple resources have sprung up to help writers protect themselves when their work hits the internet. Understandably, this is an issue that gives writers pause. But to allow others to stop us from getting to the heart of the truth—as ugly and messy as it may be—is to accept silencing. Letting these "what ifs" march in and invade the writing process is a kind of surrender. And the truth is, there will always be pushback. Welty acknowledges that she cares about what her loved ones think: "I care what my friends think, very deeply—and it’s only after they’ve read the finished thing that I really can rest, deep down. But in the writing, I have to just keep going straight through with only the thing in mind and what it dictates." The way I look at it, if I want to be my authentic self with my loved ones, that includes my authentic, unencumbered writing. This might be one of the reasons I don't talk about my writing while I'm writing it, but only after the final edit and just before publication.  This isn't to say we shouldn't interrogate ourselves before we sit down to write. I, personally, would be grateful if more writers asked themselves: Does the world really need my screed on why I think the novel (or poetry or <insert any art form or thing people enjoy here> is dead? Reader, the answer is NO. But when I'm secure in what I set out to do, I do my best to guard myself from those intrusive "what ifs"—those unknowable entities ready to stop me in my tracks. It's not always easy. No one wants to let others down, but the trick is prioritizing not letting ourselves down—by not undoing the work before it's truly begun.Thanks for reading. We’re glad you’re here.Dorothy BendelManaging Editor 

ATTICUS NEWS

Write some bare and honest stuff...Then send it to our 2nd Annual CNF contest...Deadline is July 21st. First prize is $400!Judge: Ira Sukrungruang.

THIS WEEK AT ATTICUS

Put the spark in your weekend with this classicFeral Town by Adam Gustavson...MAUREEN AND TOM

BOOK REVIEWWHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GOOD MANA Review of POINT BLANK by Alan King       from Silver Birch PressReview by Max Heinegg"...his facility with narrative allows him to concentrate on the specific details that make the mundane memorable."READ ON

FICTIONAn excerpt from THE COLOR INSIDE A MELONby John Domini"...a man of decent taste if dubious judgment, had gulped down almost an entire glass and then agreed to the highest price the gallery owner had ever set for a single piece."READ ON

POETRYWHAT THE RIVER WANTSMary Ardery"A lush summer storm: raindropsfalling to their knees like a mankissing his lover’s bodybefore joining it. The riverlikes it rough."READ ON

NONFICTIONSAD CYCLEby Janet Dale"I can hear my mother on the phone discussing weather again. Or more accurately, seasons:    In December she says, it gets too dark too soon...    In June she says, it gets too hot too soon..."READ ON

MIXED MEDIAORPHAN GIRLby Naomi Kimbell"After my husband and I lost our home, we moved to an industrial neighborhood near the train yard. Daily walks with my dog required the crossing of two bridges over the tracks where I often stopped to watch the trains. 'Orphan Girl' is a piece I wrote as a meditation on this history. The film came later. It took a year to amass the photos and videos I shot on my walks to work."WATCH VIDEOPOEM

FILM REVIEWOLIVIA WILDE TAKES ON THE END-OF-HIGH-SCHOOL MOVIE AND WINSA review of BOOKSMART from director Olivia WildeReview by Olivia Funderburg"...takes its presumed genre and gives it an innovative jolt."READ ON

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